Social Media, Social Graces

This just bugs me.

Just becuase you tweet/status update something about yourself and people follow you, that doesn't mean it's true and/or a good idea!

Declare yourself "Emperor" on Facebook or Twitter and someone in the world will eventually realize you have on "no clothes".

Get over yourself!

Social Media, Social Graces

(I received this email today and almost hit the delete key because the sender is notorious for sending me spam and urban legends but I read the first two sentences and was instantly hooked - Thank you This was the best spam/email junk/urban legend ever)!!

I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot).

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of Trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.

I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.

I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... Disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan .

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 pm. Tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician . . .

Oh, by the way..... A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

ps...don't send me any more crazy ass emails!

Social Media, Social Graces

I have to say this - stop poking me on Facebook! Back in the old days, before the grown ups took over FB with Farm City, Bedazzle, and Mafia Wars - poking was something the "youngsters" did and it was cute!

If you are NOT a high school cheerleader or captain of the football team - don't poke people/your friends. Let me be clear, if you can't resist yourself...just don't poke ME!

It's childish and I will "unfriend" you!

Social Media, Social Graces

Social networking sites persuade you into believing that all the smiling and adoring faces on your dashboard are really your friends. As a professional woman I'd never sit in the hot tub trading emotional tales with my company's CFO and likewise, your profile picture/avatar should not be a provocatively posed photo of you in a swimsuit!
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Social Media, Social Graces

Don't go snooping through the LinkedIn list of your associates looking for connections. It's rude to take it upon yourself and reach out to them directly. Respect the relationship and use the "introduction" link!
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Social Media - Social Graces

Do not regularly retweet the tweets of someone with a locked/private account. If I wanted everyone to know what I said - I'd have said it to EVERYONE!
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MSNBC's Contessa Brewer Calls Jesse Jackson Al Sharpton - Jesse Not Happy

I feel so bad for Contessa Brewer. She is normally so professional and buttoned up....and she tries to quickly regain her footing. But really, what's wrong with Jesse Jackson?

Moving on...

I often wonder if the ability to let go of a person, an idea, a belief or anything that you have ever cherished is a skill or something which you just do. Why is it that some people can have an expressed belief and seemingly overnight are no longer committed to that belief. It's like loving someone....let them go and walk away...great but how do you stop loving them?

I have distant relative who is a devoted Christian. While that doesn't seem like an issue, except in the 20 years I've known him he has been devoted to at least 2 other major religions. How did he do that? Did he wake up one day and decide to believe in a different God? Does a person learn to move on like you learn accounting or is it in your DNA?

Does that belief in a religion or faith go away or morph into something else? In the case of love, do you really stop loving someone or does it lay dormant waiting for a flicker of interest in hopes of rekindling?

The act of letting go or moving on is something we all do everyday! A disagreement with a spouse or co-worker, the decision to buy or not buy a particular outfit for a big event or the decision to walk away from a relationship (for any number of reasons) and sometimes it can be as complex as the decision to alter your person faith - because you need all the help you can get to make it through the day, week, month or even life! Although we let go and move on everyday...sometimes, it's not always easy...we just do it!
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